Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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