I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
