Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
