Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
