Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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