I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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