so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
