idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
