My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Randomize
