they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
