He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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