I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
