Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize