i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
