Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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