I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
