I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Small penises have feelings too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
