ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
this will be a night to untag.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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