I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
