What a fucking waste of an outfit
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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