Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
