My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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