he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
