I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
