Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
