I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
