Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
