i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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