Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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