Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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