did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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