Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
