Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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