My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
