I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
