I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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