You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
