I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
