I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize