why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
