question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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