I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Randomize
