Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
