So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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