Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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