careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
