don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
