clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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