my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i dont even know how to be here
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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