Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
