He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
