Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
