So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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