she woke up with a sticky ear
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
