I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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