I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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