their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
