he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just puked most of my soul out..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
